What Do You Think of an Excerpt From My New Chapter?
Question by : What do you think of an excerpt from my new chapter?
Lounging on the hood of Andy’s silver Porsche while listening to Daily Operation on her iPod, Savannah watched Andy trying to get Buzz to take a bath. The white dog ran around in circles as Andy tried to grab it by its tail. She was getting a kick out of seeing Andy struggling to try to get Buzz in the small tub of water. This was like trying to give Tippet a bath tenfold.
“A little help here, Vanny!” he called, chasing Buzz into a forest of trees that rested behind his driveway.
Savannah lifted her purple, heart-shaped sunglasses over her head. “What!?”
“Help me give this misbehaved dog a bath!” Andy shouted, coming back with Buzz struggling in his arms.
Guffawing as if she were high on drugs, she climbed off of the car to contribute to Andy’s efforts. As soon as Buzz saw Savannah coming towards them, the dog managed to jump free from Andy’s arms. It trotted towards her, and jumped on top of her. He began to lick her face.
“See, he listens to you,” said Andy. “You try to get him in this thing.”
“Okay, Buzz, it’s not so bad,” she said in that high-pitched voice she only used for children and animals. “Get in the tub and you’ll be nice and clean.”
The dog barked animatedly at her, trying to lick at her cheek. She heaved the fully grown dog up by her hands, and carried it over to the tub. Immediately, it began to bark excessively. To Andy and Savannah’s dismay, the dog ran free from her.
“What’s wrong with him?” she asked. “Why doesn’t he like to take baths?”
“He’s just stubborn.” complained Andy. “On a count of three; one…two…GET HIM!!!”
They both lunged after the dog who was now trying to run into one of the rose bushes behind the house. With all of his effort, Andy caught the pet by its tail. Buzz yelped as Savannah calmly coaxed the dog into the tub.
“Please?” she said. “It’ll only take a few minutes.”
“No, you get in that tub now!” ordered Andy. “You see, Vanny, you have to be harsh when it comes to disobedient children.”
He eventually managed to put Buzz in the tub. Relieved, he began to scrub it down with a sponge. It seemed like the dog had gave in, but as Andy was about to clean him off, Buzz shook his head. Water splashed everywhere, including getting on both Andy and Savannah.
“Aww…how sweet.” cooed Savannah. “Buzz wouldn’t take a bath unless he made sure we had one too. He’s so generous…”
“Very funny,” Andy said irritably. “Buzz, you’re grounded!”
“Wow, this is like Elisha grounding Delaney part two.”
“He knows better. Plus, if he was going to get us wet, he could have least done a better job getting your shirt wet.”
“Oh, shut up!” she laughed. “Getting my dog to take a bath is like trying to get a self-proclaimed cat wet.”
“Only with Buzz, it’s a lot more difficult.”
“At least we attempted.” she said, leaning against his body. Andy stared at her slender frame in her yellow t-shirt and jean shorts. He took his hand and began to caress her bare calves. “Stop,” she warned. “What?” he said innocently, grappling her coltish thighs. “It had to take hours to finally convince my step-father to go over to your house.” “He’s not here, is he?” Savannah chuckled uneasily. Ever since having her mother accompany her to the police station to report her molestation with Will and his friends, her mother and step-father were watching her like hawks. She couldn’t quite blame them, to be honest. But for some reason, her biological father who lived in Louisville, Kentucky, acted as if it were Andy’s fault. He hadn’t even met him personally.
Best answer:
Answer by Mysterious Stranger
You could do with showing rather than telling, but it’s good otherwise.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
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